the first course is over

“Those who are selfish suffer here and suffer there; they suffer wherever they go. They suffer and fret over the damage they have done. But those who are selfless rejoice here and rejoice there; they rejoice wherever they go. They rejoice and delight in the good they have done.” – the Buddha

The first 10-day course as a long term server is over. Yesterday the last students left for the outside world. The remaining servers and I went to Omberg (Mount Om), located close to the center. We took a breath of fresh air as we gazed on the beauty of the vast flat countryside and the mighty lake Vättern (above picture).

Today the sense of calm has settled on Dhamma Sobhana. As the two other servers also staying here and I meditate alone the vibrations of metta keep flowing. I think of all the students we serve, how hard they strive and how much happier they will be. May they find peace. 

Within me there is a growing awareness of anicca – inconsistency. Change, change, change. I’m slowly dissolving into vibrations. Of course I’m still here, but my perception is different. More realistic. I am no miracle worker. All I do is follow the laws of nature which are simple but difficult. Do good and refrain from doing evil. To be able to do this, purify the mind by meditating every day. Easy to understand in theory, hard to practice. Even harder to integrate with every day life. However, if you do live by the laws of nature, life will be simple and fruitful. Happy and peaceful. All you do is learn the true way of life, and so nature will take care of the rest. 

It is such a privilege to serve here. So many opportunities to do good for myself and others. I wish all Vipassana meditators will realize this and come to serve, if only for a few days. It fills you with happiness as it takes you further on the path. Oh, the joy that follows with me where I go.

The center is such a wonderful gift. I am so thankful to those who have been struggling to get it going. Now I can take part. May I pass on an even better center to those who come after. May the light of dhamma and Dhamma Sobhana eradicate the darkness of ignorance. 

May all beings be liberated.

gone long term serving

The dhamma is growing within me like the rising morning sun spreads light and warmth. Often I find myself so full of love that it flows over and I can’t help but smile with my whole heart.

I have changed so much. What a self-centered being I have been, so sad. Now ignorance is leaving my body, drop by drop, every day. I am convinced  that this technique of Vipassana meditation will save our species. It is the actual practical teaching of the Buddha. It has to be. There is no doubt in my mind. I am experiencing the power of it within myself.

I feel very happy and grateful. I am grateful to the Buddha, not only for attaining enlightenment, but also for so selflessly dedicating the rest of his life to teach this technique to others. I am grateful to the chain of teachers who preserved the practice of the Buddha up until this day. I am grateful to all those teachers and students who are again spreading the dhamma around the world.

Tomorrow I am leaving for Dhamma Sobhana. Much happiness follows me where I go. I will serve until June. 

Life has never been so clear. So peaceful. So full of happiness, even when times are difficult. 

I will try to write here every once in a while. There is a 10-day course at Dhamma Sobhana starting the day after tomorrow so I won’t be posting before the 8th of January. 

May you be inspired.

my vipassana journey

I’ve decided to take this blog a step further and start producing a video blog on YouTube. These video talks will also be posted here on this blog. You can visit walkthepath on YouTube here: http://youtube.com/user/walkthepathVideo

love, sex and celibacy

“Guard yourself well, both within and without, like a well-defended fort. Don’t waste a moment, for wasted moments send you on the downward course.” – the Buddha

I think most people know what it is like to be sexually frustrated. You are unhappy because your sexual desire is overpowering or missing. I used to believe that having sex and being in love were the highest sources of happiness in life. Lately I have started seeing things from a different perspective. I have realized that I have been very confused about both sexual desire and love. 

Vipassana meditation is a different perspective of life. Like a scientist doing an experiment on herself the meditator observes the sensations of changes happening inside the body attentively but without reacting to them. The Vipassana meditator, unlike the scientist, learns about the world by experiencing it at the actual level. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to understand how Vipassana meditation works without trying the technique yourself. 

Practicing this technique I now believe there are two kinds of love. Selfish love and selfless love. When we say we love someone we are most of the time being selfish. Why do we love someone? Because we want something in return for our love. We crave something intensely. This is not pure love. Pure love is selfless love, a mother’s love. One keeps giving without expecting anything in return. This kind of love brings happiness. If you stop loving someone because he or she is not giving you what you want you never really loved that person. You just love yourself. 

People say they “love” ice cream. This is selfish love. It’s all about what the ice cream will do for them, not what they will do for the ice cream. A lot of the time, we mean the same thing when we say we “love” someone. Why would we otherwise be mean to those we “love” when they are mean to us? If you truly love someone you give them love no matter what they do.

The wonderful thing about selfless love is that we can give it to everybody. It is not limited to only those who give us something in return the way selfish love is. We are free to feel compassion for all people. We are free to want them all to be happy and peaceful. If we are selflessly in love it does not matter if they love us back or not. You just love. 

Sexual desire is the ultimate craving. This was one of Gotama the Buddha’s greatest obstacles to enlightenment. We think of it as a need. Some would say we need sex like we need water. I believe we like sex so much because when we have it, we feel like we are quenching the thirst. If you observe yourself thoroughly, preferably by meditating, you will begin to see that this pattern of behavior is very unsatisfying. You will begin to see how much suffering it causes.

How many hours of your life have you spent wishing you were quenching the thirst or trying to quench it?

I have spent enough time under the rule of desire, self-sex and unhappiness. I know there is a better way of life. This way of life does not mean to force oneself to live in celibacy. As one meditates one will learn and so change will come gradually. I’m at a point where I naturally do not have an interest in self-sex. I still have much sexual cravings. The difference is I don’t react to the cravings thanks to the meditation. Now I’m spending less time on sexual desires and am instead doing things that are actually satisfying and make me happy.

When we try to quench the thirst of sexual desire in ways of lust and self-sex we actually multiply it. Like a wildfire being fueled by gasoline we are overpowered. It is truly a downward spiral of unhappiness. 

I still believe making love with another person can be beneficial if it is done in a spirit of communication with the respect of protection from unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted decease. I think I will definitely be in another relationship. I feel there is much to be gained from such experiences. Since you get to know partners thoroughly you learn much from them. If values are similar they can give good support and inspiration as we meet obstacles in life. 

May all beings be happy.

from tree to tree

“Don’t run after pleasure and neglect the practice of meditation. If you forget the goal of life and get caught in the pleasures of the world, you will come to envy those who put meditation first.” 
– the Buddha

Are you finding yourself mindlessly jumping from tree to tree? If you are a Vipassana meditator, this is a good time for meditation. If you don’t know Vipassana meditation as taught by S.N. Goenka, I suggest you visit this website and sign up for a 10-day introduction course at one of the many centers around the world.

Be happy!